But what if you're wondering if your guy is still attracted to you, or if craving some positive feedback and he seems oblivious? Take a positive approach, says Kerner. "We think you look great, and that's that," he says. "What do you expect him to say," asks Kerner, "Yes, you look fat?!" Even when men are in love with somebody, says Kerner, they don't usually notice a new dress or a new haircut. "Does this make me look fat?" The problem with a statement like that, Kerner says, is that it focuses on the negative. "Get your point across while flattering him a little bit."
Say something like, "I know that you're not into her, but I think she's still into you, and she's being a little aggressive," Kerner suggests.
Then, if you still think there's an issue, avoid making demands. First, figure out if there's something truly threatening going on - or if you're just feeling jealous, Kerner says. "I don't want you talking to her." When it comes to ex-girlfriends, it's natural to feel some concern, even if your guy's intentions are totally pure. Use it as an opportunity to talk about the bigger money picture," Kerner suggests. "If you want to talk about money, don't make it about specific purchases. If you're in a more committed relationship where you're sharing expenses, there's a better way to talk about cash flow. "Do you really need that?" If you're in the dating stage, it's really none of your business how he spends his money, Kerner says.
But he's your friend, so can you please handle it?" If, however, there's something that really bugs you about a certain friend, Kerner says you should be specific: "I understand that you're friends with him, and I get that you guys have known each other since kindergarten, but I just don't like the way he talks to waitresses/flirts with me/bad-mouths your mutual friend. "Women sometimes think their boyfriend's guy friends are beneath them - they're vulgar, stupid flirtatious, whatever, but you should try not to judge," says Kerner. "Why are you friends with him?" Guys have their bromances, says Kerner, and a statement like that puts him on the defensive. Instead of framing it in a way that makes him feel like you're demanding he hang with you and your mom all weekend, try something like, "My mom's coming to town, and we're going to have a fun girls' day, but we'd really love you to meet us for dinner or have a drink with us!" "My mom's coming to see us this weekend." "That's automatically, like, 'Oh no, this weekend's gonna suck!" Kerner says with a laugh.
Kerner also notes that while you might indeed feel tired, that's not necessarily a good reason not to have sex.
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